Dead Collections by Isaac Fellman

Publication date: February 2022
LGBTQ+ author? Trans
Setting: Modern day California
Content warnings: Transphobia from within the queer community and internalized transphobia

This book dips into the life of a 40-something trans vampire named Sol who works as an archivist. We meet him as he is processing a new collection from a recently deceased writer who created his favourite TV show.

Vampirism in this world is not something that makes you sexy and immortal, but a chronic illness that is treated, well like how we treat chronically ill people in the real world. Like we are kind of a nuisance and pay lip service to accommodating but really don’t.

Sol was transitioning a bit “late” in his late 30s when he was turned into a vampire. His medical transition was frozen about a year in, along with all other physical changes. This plus growing up in 1990s without the freedom to explore his gender makes Sol come across like a perpetual teenager.

T4T

Sol meets and falls for a woman his age, and they have what feels like a chaotic first love of high school sweethearts.

And as soon as they meet, his love interest starts to realize she may not be cisgender. And she starts to explore what this means and looks like. She says so many messy baby trans things, it feels delicious and affirming and delightful.

What I love about this love story is that nothing is sweet and perfect. Sol isn’t sure if he would be attracted to his partner anymore if she medically transitions, as he is attracted to women. But he just sort of goes with it because he really likes her and life rolls along.

Women and m/m romance

There is flashback to the 90s and an extended discussion about if it’s OK for women to write, read and enjoy m/m romances (fan fiction, specifically).

Sol wrote, “I am a lesbian, and yet my only fantasies are about men.” This makes sense in the present, as we now know Sol is not a lesbian and had personal reasons for wanting to read and write about men.

The other person argues this is not OK. She writes, “We’ve been brought up to feel that men’s stories are more important and interesting than women’s stories — so two men in love is twice as interesting, and two women in love isn’t interesting or important at all.”

I often struggle with this myself, as a trans person who used to identify as a woman. I hate that there are not more women’s stories. But right now, I just want to read about men in love with other men. But I feel guilty because I was raised in a certain flavour of 90s and early 2000s feminism that says I am just brainwashed by the patriarchy, not trans.

Like everything in this book, the issues in these discussions are not resolved. Just picked up and exposed for all their messy bits. I feel seen and I love it.

Transphobia

Some trans reviewers don’t like this book because of all the unchallenged transphobia, especially from lesbians. I think this is a valid perspective and respect these reviewer’s feelings.

However, for me, this painful language lands as a delicious acknowledgement of past hurts, not inflicting anything new. It’s like tending to some old and forgotten wounds.

Sol doesn’t figure it all out. It’s just there and we look at it together and move along.

Recommendation

I made this book sound like it’s all about being trans, which it’s not. I just loved these parts and love talking about gender.

It’s really about archives, fan fiction and feeling like you don’t fit in for a lot of reasons, including chronic illness.

I think Elder Millentials and Gen X-ers who aren’t really sure about gender would really enjoy this book, and possibly see parts of themselves reflected. As would any librarians, archivists or fan fiction lovers.