Publication date: September 2023
LGBTQ+ author? Trans (and autistic)
Setting: Victorian England
Content warnings: This is a more violent book than I typically read with extensive on page abuse and medical gore. Check out the author’s detailed content warnings.
“This book is not a necessary procedure. You do not have to endure it. You can get off the operating table and walk away at any time. I won’t blame you.”
Author’s Note
This is the most horrifying and heartbreaking book I’ve ever read and I could not put it down. It reminds me of the Handmaid’s Tale, but it centers trans and autistic voices instead. If you can tolerate the topics described in the content warnings, this is a must read book.
The story takes place in a fantasy version of Victorian England, where the Veil between the living and dead has thinned. People born with violet eyes can do spirit work. This used to be the realm of women, but once men realized how powerful this work was, they took it for themselves. Violet-eyed women are now highly valued for their ability to provide men with violet-eyed children. However, women are barred from “playing with ghosts” themselves.
Violet-eyed Silas is a sixteen-year-old trans and autistic boy. His greatest wish is to be a surgeon. After a failed attempt at escaping an arranged marriage, he is diagnosed with Veil Sickness (aka hysteria). It is a disease that seems to only affect people with uteruses that powerful men find inconvenient.
After his diagnosis, Silas is sent to Braxton’s Sanitorium and Finishing School. There they will heal Silas and teach him to be a good wife. He soon discovers that students who are not “curable” seem to disappear. Silas tries to discover what exactly is happening to the missing girls — while trying to stay alive himself.
Gender adventures
Despite a far from supportive upbringing, Silas was always sure that he is a boy. I cannot relate to this version of trans identity, but I know that many do and will.
“Yes I am a boy. I am just as much of a man as my father and brother, just a different kind. But I still connect with women. I find companionship, closeness that cannot be denied because the world will always do it’s damndest to see me as one of them.”
Silas
Silas is also autistic, even though there is no word for this in his world. Sometimes he isn’t sure if his gender and autism are the same “problem” or different things. In the real world, trans people are 3-6 times more likely to be autistic than cis people. As someone who is not autistic but is trans, I found the exploration of this experience very interesting!
During his adventures, Silas meets a trans girl named Daphne. She is one of the only safe harbours for Silas in this terrifying world. Daphne and Sila’s friendship is a beautiful thing that keeps the book from being unbearably dark.
The Rabbit
This book includes one of the best representations of an inner critic/anxiety I’ve ever read in a book. Silas calls his inner voice the Rabbit.
The knowledge that something was there with me, hyper aware of danger. Keeping me safe. But it wasn’t keeping me safe, was it? It was only ever torturing me. Making sure I remained frozen and afraid like a prey animal.
Silas talking about the Rabbit
The Rabbit is so relatable in its harshness and extreme thinking. There is no gore involved with this voice, but it was scary to read nonetheless.
Young adult audience
This book has been published as a young adult book, which I find … unexpected. But I also know that not all young people are sheltered. Some have already faced the kinds of violence detailed in this book. So I can see that certain young people may find recognition and solace in its pages. But it is certainly a very difficult book to read and wouldn’t be suited to all young people. Or all adults for that matter.
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